self-deception

"I'm happy for you," you say
    but are you?
 are the pain in your chest
            and the tears you're holding back
 in the corner of your eyes
       happiness?

 when you lie like that, be careful
 that you're lying to them
                           and not fooling yourself

— Self-deception is the process of convincing oneself of a truth (or lack of truth) so that one does not reveal any self-knowledge of the deception. // a.